The Rules of the Reservation

*ringring*

"Nnnnh..."

*ringring*

Slave: "....------ this is A-----, how can I help you?"

Black Guy Who Talks Way Too Much About Shit I Don't Give a Fuck About:

"I'm coming out on Sunday the 15th (I don't actually know what fucking month he's talking about until much later), and my company was supposed to hold a room for me and --blah blah blah blah blah blah..."

Meanwhile, some guy walks up, who sees I'm on the phone, and starts to just sit his key on the counter and walk off. Oh hell no, motherfucker, you're in my line of sight, now you're going to be acknowledged whether you like it or not.

White Guy Trying to Escape: "...blah blah blah blah checking out blah blah blah blah..."

Slave: "What room?"

....Annoying black guy is still talking, apparently oblivious to the fact I'm ignoring all his reasons, plans, and so on, because he has yet to say much that has anything at all to do with my role in all of his rambling...

White Escapee: "2--. Blah blah blah blah."

Slave: "Great, thanks, have a good day."

By the way, it's pissing rain, and I also don't give a fuck about his day.

Black Guy is still talking, and now that I'm done dealing with the first douchebag, I can finally stop the stream of insanity pouring out of this asshole.

Slave: "Yeah, okay. What day?"

Black Guy: "Sunday, the 15th."

Slave: "Yes, of which month."

Black Guy: "Uh... July. My office was supposed to hold a room for me on the 15th."

Slave: "Just a second."

What I really want to say is, "Congratulations, good for you," but I hold it in, and though I am already fairly certain there's nothing in there for that day, I check anyway. You know why I know there's not going to be anything in there? Because he specifically used the word "hold". Black people do that. "Let me hold some money, dawg," or in this case, "I need you to hold a room for me." The reservation process is foreign and scary for them. Yep, I said it. Don't like it? Fuck you.

Slave: "There are no reservations in here, sir, for either of those days."

Black Guy, Getting Stupider by the Second: "Uh yeah, that's cause I didn't make one. My office was just supposed to call and hold a room for me."

Slave: "Sir, we do not "hold" rooms. We make reservations. Unless you make a guaranteed reservation, with a credit or debit card (I don't add the word "valid" because most people are going to fuck us with their expired shit anyway) we cannot guarantee that you'll have a room."

Black Guy: -makes feeble, ineffectual comments that mean nothing- "...blah blah blah my office was supposed to pay with a "corporate check", I don't want my card charged."

Slave: "Sir, I don't charge the card, I record the number in case you don't show up, --then I charge you," and at this point, I'm really just going over the basic, elementary shit that should be common sense, and he's acting awed and shocked. I refer him to the manager for the whole "check" thing. Wtf is a "corporate check" and what makes it special? No clue, and since I cannot personally accept checks, I'm not going to stress over it.

Point being, don't fucking call a motel this early in the morning. If it's just now getting to be around 8 am, wait until later. No one wants to talk to you this early, no matter how happy they sound to hear from you. As a matter of fact, I've said this before, but just in general, you should try to remember, that most of the customer service representatives you speak to, hate you. They hate you, and they want nothing to do with you. We don't want to talk to you or interact with you in any capacity whatsoever, and frankly, we're only here in this Purgatorial nightmare because we have bills to pay. We didn't choose customer service because we dreamed for years about being shit upon by assholes with more money than us since we were old enough to strip our Barbies. We're here because it was what was available. Get in, get out, be polite, and don't make us remember you. Because if you should be so unlucky to attract our attention, we will fuck you every time; you will be remembered, by employees that succeed us for years to come.

Have a great day!